Adjustment

2/15/20

I am not adjusting well to TRU. More accurately, I’m not adjusting well to being without John.

Two weeks ago I had a mental health crisis. It was four months in the making due to sleep deprivation, stress from DOC staff, and a voyeur for a cellie who liked to play passive aggressive head games. I did my best to change cells and get on better terms with the B-unit staff, but I was completely unsuccessful in this.
So I had a melt down. I have a well founded fear of causing harm to others when I’m in a mental health crisis. Because of this I went to mental health and asked them to lock me in a box for a few days. They did as I asked (sort of).

I was placed in IMU and given a 506 major infraction. Threatening another person with bodily harm.
This I do not understand. I did the literal right thing and I was punished for it. I ended up spending 9 days in the IMU (my shortest hole trip to date) and was put right back in the same situation which had destabilized me. Thankfully, the cellie I had who was such a problem with is no longer assigned to my cell, but I still have a whole group of unit staff who’ve made it more than clear, I am not welcome in B-unit.

I feel like a horse who has caught the scent of rattler but doesn’t know where the snake is.

I don’t really know what to do in this situation. I am trying to get moved to A-unit where I won’t have to deal with staff targeting me, but… I don’t know. 

I’ll keep ya’ll posted.

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