I am sorry for my absence, I’ve had to sort through what my life is now. Sort through difficult feelings and uncomfortable truths I’d rather not acknowledge.
I now have to relearn how to live life without my best friend.
I’ve finally come to a place where I’m ready to engage with the world again, but it’s hard to find the motivation to put myself back out there when what I am coming back to is a world in crisis. It is, however, what I have to do. How will I ever find the will to go out into the world (assuming I ever get clemency) if I cannot bear to engage with that world?
So I’m back.
During the months before my hiatus I feel like my focus was shifting, I spoke about prison more and big ideas less. In the process of that shift I let more of my anger and frustration show. My humor slowly diminishing.
I think the shift of focus is neither good nor bad, but the loss of humor was not good. I believe that humor is necessary to maintain one’s sense of perspective when dealing with the wide spread pain, suffering, and fear which is inherent to living in prison, to living in today’s world. It helps us resist internalized oppression and gives us a way to call things out and name harms without exhausting ourselves with righteous indignation.
So I’m recommitting myself to writing. To writing in a way which is real, painfully honest, and helps build the resilience of myself as I write it and of others as they read it.
I hope you choose to spin another lap with me here in this digital space. Thank you for reading.